Brain Matter Leaking. Beware.

I had a post thought out in my brain yesterday. I had it put together, title and all. Except, it was all in my brain.

Except, I don't remember what it was. My brain matter is leaking out of my ears.

Last night Kenny woke up at about 12 am, screaming. Apparently there was a "snake" in his bed.

We patted his back, sung him his lullaby then left, thinking we were in the clear.

Nope.

15 minutes later, he's up and screaming again.

We gave him a flashlight.

No dice.

I rocked in the rocking chair with him for an hour 'til he conked back out. Laid him down.

No bueno.

Took him out of his crib (yes, he's still in the crib. Judge. I don't care. He's going to stay there until he's doing trigonometry if I have anything to say about it.) and made a bed for him on the floor of his room.

Nope.

Nothing was calming this child down. Now, at this point it's about 4am. So, we let him cry for a bit. Because I didn't know what else to do.

Blissfully, he calmed down at about 4:30. And by "blissfully" I mean he screamed until his body gave way to unconsciousness.

Then Mark's alarm clock went off at 5am.

I am SO tired. This has caused brain matter to begin leaking from my ears. So if you see me walking around with Q-tips in my ears, know that I've gone critically low.

Once I've restored my brain matter to normal operating levels, I'll post the post I had in my head. That I don't remember. Because my brain is leaking.

Until then enjoy these:

Stories to come when I can remember them.

I do remember that my life was in danger here...
Even after last night, I look at this and totally think it's worth it.

BnW's. Only Not.

We didn't have anything scheduled for the day. At. All.

I'm pretty sure I heard angels sing when my alarm didn't go off this morning.

Eventually we showered. And got dressed. In semi-coordinated attire. Then, I attacked them with the camera.

These are the result:

I'm sorry that your head is cut off in this one Braxton. I promise it doesn't mean we love you less. You are just, amazingly, getting tall. Too tall to stand while we sit in a picture, apparently.
This is not what I was going for. (Mark liked it, and made me post it for his troubles.) I think I may have figured out how to get what I want. But, it's going to take some convincing of the hubband to go for it again.

As for the picture below: (Stupid blogger won't let me type below it. SO time for a wordpress site.)

I heart this picture. I took it by accident. Kismet.

A "Wear Your Pants Backwards" Kind of Family.

Mark and I are pretty easy going parents.

Obviously, there are areas where we aren't. Some pretty steadfast rules in my house are; Mind your manners, don't play with excrement, and buckle your seatbelt.

We don't over-regulate hair, or clothing choices.

That is why the B-rox's pants are on backwards. When I pointed this out to him, he told me "I like it that way".

Alrighty then. Picture time.

He did, eventually, realize the error of his ways. When he nearly didn't make it to the potty in time.

Which would have been funny.

I do not believe I am a horrible mother for thinking that. Some lessons you just can't be told, after all.

This morning definitely confirmed we are a "wear your pants backwards" kind of family.

I like it.

Very amusing.

This weekend I was gone. It was Mark and the two boys - all by themselves. Upon being reunited with my children, I asked them if they did anything fun while I was gone.

Their answer:

"We came and got Mommy."

Awesome.

Braxton has an imaginary friend now.

His name is Jordan.

He lives in "Other Virginia".

He doesn't like the mean ants.

He seems to be somewhat of a trouble maker. Last night he told the B-rox that he doesn't have to eat his kale or spaghetti. I begged to effin' differ.

Jordan is five, so he stays at school all day. Which, to Braxton, is the epitome of cool. (Jordan does not actually exist. I checked.)

This is going to be interesting.

Simon Pegg? Nah, He's Cuter.

Fair warning: This post is long. Just like the race was. At least you're sitting in your chair.
(Ok, technically, I am too now...) That's ME! 8,000 People in the Half, 4,000 people in the full and 24,000 in the 8k. Hot damn that's a lot of people.

Posing in front of the line of 42 elite seats. (There were four other lines at the start and finish and all along the race) Wisely, we visted these pre-race. Well, I actually visited several times. Nervous bladder? Nope, they were warm and not at all windy. They were a refuge. Not sure when I'll ever say that again... Or when I'll ever be jealous of people wearing trash bags. But that morning, I was.

We are Spartan! Or Stupid. But muscle pics at the starting line are a must.

About ten minutes pre-race I stopped and asked myself "What in the hell was I thinking?".

Then we were off.

While we were gone, our PAO Andy Mew, took some awesome pics of the sunrise. And ate Latkes.

We ate Gu. Pretty sure he had the better end of the deal there.

Don't you wish you could be there right then?

2.5 hours later...

Mr. Wookie crossed the finish line. 2:15

Then I crossed the finish line. 2:28. It was about this point when I realized I wasn't quite tired enough, and could have run it again. "Damn. This means I have to run a full." So, I'm adding a full, and another half to my schedule for the year. For the next half I'm going to shave my time down and try to get 2hrs flat. I think it's doable. I ran pretty conservatively and think if I put a little more into it I can get there. Or I'm dreaming. Either way, September 5, 2010; we'll know.

Then Mrs. Wookie Crossed the finish line. 2:33.

Yeah, We're badass.

Squatting. Because it felt good.

Beer. Because it felt better than squatting. And was free. Oh, and don't worry - you're not seeing things. Mr. and Mrs. Wookie aren't giants, I'm just standing in a hole. (ok, not really. I'm fantastically short)

Ahhh. "Rehydration".

We plopped ourselves down in the sand and didn't move for a few hours. Sitting on the beach, after finishing the race, and soaking up the sun had to be one of the best moments ever. I'm not sure I'll ever forget it.

Thanks Bob and Big One for joining this insane adventure. Thanks Mew for being sherpa, support and PAO. You were invaluble.

Survival of the fittest.

Just a quick pop in to notify you that I survived.

It was amazing. Stories, and pictures as soon as I return to the District. For now, I'm off.

It's here...!

It's race weekend. I'm stoked.

Bestest apparently intends to take her camera. Video, and pictures to come.

Wish me luck.

Prayers.

These are the prayers I've uttered throughout the week.
Especially today.

*Please let me not dissappoint bestest with a crappy run.

*Please don't let me forget one of these three children in Target.

*Please help me to remember where I left my sanity.

*Please help hubband choose his family over work, for once.

*Please don't let me die at mile 12.9

*Thank you for this beautiful weather.

*Help me gain the patience to help Braxton learn how to use his indoor voice.

*Help me stay patient with Kieran even when he won't stop whining.

*Please let the powers that be know, Daylight savings time sucks.

*Please be with friend, and make her pregnancy a truly viable one.

*Help us to smash Pulte Homes in the face for trying to screw us over.

*Thank you for this beautiful weather.

*Lead me to a gorgeous pair of zebra-striped-wedge peep-toes, that don't cost over 50 bux.

*Thank you for this beautiful weather.

*Thanks for some truly awesome friends, and family.

Amen.

Paparazzi Soon to Follow...

My kid may or may not be famous.

albert michael/startraks

Uhm, is it just me or is Liam McDermott B-rox's doppleganger?

Some Friday Phone Fun.

Some random awesomeness brought to you via Macintosh. The phone. Because until I sell a few eggs, I'm not getting a real Mac. First off, please don't judge me for the floors you see in this picture. They're awful. This was during re-fixing my house, (which is NOT done) and I wasn't too keen on scrubbing them until it was done.

Secondly, those white things on the bear's back? They're hunks of cheese. No, seriously. Hunks. Of. Cheese. He stole a block off the counter, and whittled it down to those hunks. Which apparently went for a ride. On a bear, on my construction dusted floor. And then they got eaten.
What's a little limestone in the system going to hurt?

My son is very fashion forward. Handy Manny Jammies, soccer shorts "Which are green, mom, so they totally match and stuff". Yes, it does scare me that he already talks like a teenager. What really pulls the outfict together are the UGG boots and the Pluto hat. Season 407 of "Project Runway" here he comes. Maybe someday I'll have someone who can fix my computer. Because right now I'm in a struggle with hubband to let me take ours to Geek Squad. He can't fix it. Apparently that means if another man does, his "pride cape" will be punctured. Again. Silly boys.
This picture gives me hope for the future of my electronics.
Now, if only I could get someone to hang my tv...

This, is completely unsolicited advice. From myself.

It's annoying.

Double Whammy.

It's a two post day. Because I have these pictures of my boys that are awesome. And they make me all mushy inside and stuff.

I look at these and feel like the luckiest gal in the world.

Wouldn't you?

Total Stream of Conciousness.

Cognition 301, was quite possibly, one of my favorite classes in college. Ever. EVER. I knew a girl at the time, who would just ramble on about anything in her brain. When you do that, it's called "total stream of conciousness". I can still remember how insanely excited I was to learn that term.

I do that here, sometimes. Today is another one of those days.


*I am working on revamping the blog. This layout/header have been around for over a year. So, please excuse my dust as I get things going.

*On that note, if anyone out there has any ideas as to a good site to design/buy/steal a new template, I'd appreciate the input.

*The countdown to race day is now T-10. I'm stoked/sick to my stomach/can't wait for it.

*Yes, it is possible to be ALL of those things at once.

*Wednesday nights Mark and I have a class at church. A very wonderful young lady (golly, how old do I feel saying that?) watches the boys in the nursery. Last night, Mark worked until the wee hours of the morning, leaving me to get the boys ready, loaded and to class by myself.
I completely succeeded.... except where I didn't.
I forgot the diaper bag. Woops... Poor Kenny.

*You probably could have gone your entire life without knowing that last little factoid.

*Beyonce's song "Ave Maria" is beautiful. I heard it for the first time in Zumba. Random.

*Monday in Zumba, they announced that if enough people are interested, they would be adding a second Zumba day to the schedule.
I came home buzzing with the news and the first words out of hubband's mouth were "How much is that going to cost me?".
He kills joy. For fun.

*I need Glee to come back on.

*My house is still not put back together. I have not done laundry in my own home for three weeks.
I would like to say thank you to those who have let me run loads in their homes. It's extremely appreciated.

*I'm running out of 'roos again. Damn.

*Pulte Homes gets a great big F- for this one. I've already written corporate.

*A friend on fb recently posted about some stuff he's seen in the locker room that he's not down with.
This reminded me of a few things I've seen, that I wasn't quite down with. Ew.

*I bought a new pair of shoes two weeks ago. I'm already feeling itchy for a new pair. I need help.

And, with that note, I'm off to suck down coffee.

Mean, Mean Mommy.

I have documented on this blog, several times, some of the issues we have getting B-rox to eat.

It has been a battle these last 3ish years.

One that has made me weary, and in many parents' eyes, mean and harsh.

I would go into the details of some of the "rules", but there are many - and I really don't care what anyone out there thinks about them.

They're working for us. (And the five nutritionists, pediatricians and specialists we've seen have suggested them) He eats stuff now. Food that isn't white. HUGE STRIDE. He'll take "no thank you" bites of food now. EVEN BIGGER STRIDE!!! He even requests some of these foods now. That's when we faint.

However, he's a smart kid. When we put up a rule to thwart him, he comes up with a strategy to try and get out of eating.

First it was trying to throw up. I pretty much told him I'd have none of that.
He doesn't try that anymore.

Now, it's "Woops - Mom, I dropped that one singular bite of food you gave me on the floor - and now I can't eat it."

Tonight, I made him eat it.

Look, my floors are clean - especially today. I spent all day yesterday scrubbing my house. He's not going to get rabies, or tuberculosis, or tetanus.

He's going to have to get up pretty early to fool me.

Because, I'm up at five every morning to run.

Can I be the Skinny, Non-stinky, one? Please?

Because Neurotic is ok in my book.

"This girl's gone lost her dome." That is what you are all saying right now. So, before you do something rash - like call Bellvue to check for openings - here's what I'm talking about:

I'm sure you've all seen the movie. It's one I can't wait to show the boys. Because I LOVE Disney movies, and this one is a reigning fave.

On to the story - and why I prefer neurotic, over large and stinky. Showers are good. 'Nuff said on that one. The only time I've been large, I've been pregnant. Not a place I really want to go again. Even though hubband has asked ever so politely....

Which, leaves neurotic. I get it from my mother.

Now for the story portion:

I grew up in a rural area. Animals galore. I've hit a bat, many squirrels, a raccoon, and was passenger when a dog was hit.

I have never. Ever. Ever Ever Ever Ever. Hit. A. Bird.

I pretty much thought it was impossible. Though, I'll admit, I've tried.

Today I hit four. FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you all remember the scene where Timon and Pumbaa are first introduced? They're "buzzard bowling". They're trying to run into birds, gathered around a carcass. The novelty of it, has made it endure as a favorite scene of mine for the last 13 years.

After I dropped Braxton off, I headed home. Halfway there, I notice a rather large gathering of seagulls in my lane. Quick little honk, and most of them scatter. Two tried to take off late - and met my grill. Two, stupid gluttons, didn't even try to fly and met my ridiculously expensive pieces of rubber.

Grossed out? For sure. Proud of myself? Sadly, yes. Even Captain Sully only hit one! I didn't even have to emergency land in a river and I hit four of them!!!

Ok, Yes, I was in a car. He was in a plane. And yes, I killed four living things today, and am proud of it. And that makes me horrible. Even with this knowledge, I will sleep like a baby tonight. You can judge me. I'm ok with it. Had I hit a dog, or a cat, or another bat - I would have been very sad. But I hit seagulls. I don't think the world is suffering from want of seagulls...

And...

At least I didn't hit four ladders. ;)

11.5 - a poem

Kara Goucher I am not

I walked a little, not a lot

11.5 kinda sucks

For this pain, I paid 80 bucks

13.1, is in two weeks

My left shoe really reeks

When I run, my right hip hurts

I'd rather be hairy, and living in yurts

Ok, I don't mean that really

I just hate running on terrain that is hilly

A new shirt and free beers,

Good times with the bestest - CHEERS!

Wordless Wednesday?

It appears wordless Wednesday is a copout day. A day to post, but not to think.

I'm so jumping on that train today. Minus all the words above and below.

So, more like wordy Wednesday.

Enjoy the musical stylings of the B-rox:

Full Hands.

As in, my hands are full. With a little smartass boy.

Conversation at lunch:

Me: "If you could be a shoe, what kind of shoe would you be?"

B-Rox: "Mom, that's dumb. Only girls think things like that. I'd be a dinosaur, with a long tail. Because that's interesting."

Me: "Oh."

School is teaching him sooooooo much.

It also happens to be teaching him spanish. Which he loves. It's his second favorite day of the week, aside from share day.
Last week we had construction workers in our house re-building all the damaged areas. (which, still isn't finished... but I'm not going to rant...) The two main guys happened to be mexican. Gustavo and Johnny.
They were pretty friendly, and were talking to Braxton about the leak.

Gustavo: "Is your house messy because of a leak?"
B-rox: "Yes. Thanks for fixing it. Leaks are No Bueno."
Gustavo: "*Roaring with laughter*"

That is my son. Someday he'll realize how funny he is - and then we're all in trouble.