Vaginas = Pancakes

When Mark and I first had kids we decided that we would call genitalia by what it is. No need to be ashamed of what it is right? Plus, if you aren't educated on your bodies, you can't make healthy decisions for it.

So, when Braxton was one he started calling his penis a "beep". It stuck, and it's been a beep ever since.

Somewhere along the lines he figured out a pretty huge difference between himself and mommy. We told him God made us different, and he let the issue drop. Four year olds are awesome that way.

Well, today during a diaper change for Sir Kenny, he and B-rox started listing who had beeps and who had "girl beeps".

Which is a thread that just begged for Braxton to ask the question "what are girl beeps called?".

Me: "vaginas"

Braxton: "Ok, girl beeps are flat. Does that mean that vagina is spanish for pancake?"

Never again will IHOP hold quite the same appeal for me...

Mother's Day. Finally.

Who doesn't want to spend Mother's Day with 27 preschoolers? The moms of B-rox's school are given a day in May, where they get to attend school with their kid. It's pretty awesome.

Here's what we did:

Lined up.

Cheesed for the camera.

Did karate while singing the days of the week, months of the year and some counting.

Had a little share time.

This is the line. (B-rox wanted you guys to see where he sits...)

Then we played a game. Where Braxton always wins...

Some number rods.

Can anybody guess which rods I counted in?

Made a water fountain.

Cleaned up the water fountain, and posed for a cute-ola picture.

Ate snack. With Gracie.

He was pretty stoked that snack was a special treat...

Finger stamped some butterflies.

Painted.

Took a picture he will someday not want shown to his girlfriend...

Looked at rocks. We spent a very long time on this one...

Cracked an egg, and identified all the parts.

Beaded a bracelet that was for mom, but not actually for mom.

Sucked the water out of one container, and squirted it in another.

Then we sang more songs and then goodbyes.

Preschool is Ridiculously exhausting.

Naps were taken.

It was also a fan-freaking-tastic Mother's day for me.

Some Things On My Mind.

*White house sex scandals. A very long time ago, I made the conscious decision that I would never get married to anybody with political ambitions.

Mark, thank you for your uber-nerddom and un-desire to be political.

*General McChrystal. Seriously. Whether you think your boss is a douche or not - what purpose does it really serve to yap it to 'Rolling Stone' magazine? It definitely didn't help you do your job, and all those guys you're begging for respect now think it's ok to call you a jackhole to your face. Way to lead by example. Great contradiction to a very specific paragraph in that article... Jeesh.

*The Disney Princess Half Marathon. February 25-27, 2011. Kelley, the SIL and I are running that.

Mark and his mom and dad will be running the 5k.

How much cooler can a family vacation get? I'm stoked. Now I just have to convince Mark that driving down there is a horrible idea.

*G-Diapers. Amazing. Kieran's diaper rash has run and hid, he can now identify when he's wet and poopy, without sticking his hand down his pants. It's also good for the earth. Who can complain about that?

*Panera. They're out of creamy tomato soup. Best tomato soup ever. And Panera Inc. or Corp. or whatever is out. Jerks.

*Kieran's ears. The surgery went smoothly, and the only thing the doctor said was "they were really gross and gunky - keep him on the drops seven days instead of two".

Since the surgery, his vocabulary and sentence structure has indeed improved. He's also stopped his incessant whining and is sleeping through the night again.

A blessing. Pure and simple.

*Mark's transportation to work over the summer. He's been carpooling with some friends who live down the road. However, one of them happens to be a teacher. Like a sane person, she chooses to sleep her tuckus in over the summer. Can't say that I blame her... So, there are only two of them for the summer - and you can't HOV with dos... Mark has been in early, home late. Which cuts out my workout time. That makes me cranky. Which makes him cranky. Which makes me cranky.

Vicious cycle.

*Chicago. I'll be there at the end of July. With Mark. And not the kids. Which, is going to be awesome.

Now, I just need to get us some awesome walking shoes... Keen - anyone?

*The bestest. Mrs. Wookie. She's lame and thinks it's acceptable to follow her man back to the best coast. She also thinks it's ok to go on vacation with her family to the UK in the short amount of time she has left here.

I'm sad.

*Books. I have book club meeting on Monday. I haven't started this month's book... I should get on that.

*Air you can hold. The humidity today is 91%. Is that even safe? From what I understand - 100% humidity means water. So, I take this to mean there is more H2O than O2 out there. That doesn't seem ok...

*Sundresses and skirts. Lifesavers when you live in a place that you can hold the air. Can't. Get. Enough.

*This weekend. I'm getting my hairdid. It's about damn time. Can't wait.

And now that I've gone from national news to the "you probably don't give one hoot or holler" stuff, I'll sign off - with the hope that I'll get another post up after I've dropped off the B-rox to VBS.

It's The Third Sunday In June.

Don't forget to at least call your dad.

Happy Father's Day daddy. Best Daddy a girl could ever pray for. Happy Father's Day Rickey. Best Padre-I-L - ever.

Happy Father's day to the men responsible for being irresponsible sometime before them...

And, Happy Father's day to the father of my children.

They're lucky to have you.

Happy Father's Day Hubband. We love you. Mucho.

FYI.

I just published a post that I drafted about a week ago. It published under the first post on the page, so you'll need to scroll down two posts in order to see it. For those who aren't subscribed via reader...

Not back, Fully anyway.

I just thought I would update everyone super quick-like.

My mom was here last week, and her visit couldn't have been better timed. I needed some serious mommy-hug-healing. It worked.

Thanks mom. Love you, and miss you.

After a year of asking I finally got a referral for Kieran to see an ENT back in May. At this point he's had 15 ear infections. I spent another 2 weeks on the phone trying to get him an appt. earlier than August.

At his appt. today the doctor called Kenny's PCM and (I guess) bitched him out. Apparently I was right and #8 at 18 months should have seen a referral.

He figured Kenny couldn't possibly have hearing loss due to his gargantuan vocabulary and great speech. After a typmanic screen they determined that his eardrums were flat. If they don't vibrate - you can't hear. Kieran is currently suffering from hearing loss.

His surgery is scheduled for Monday. Seriously, what was supposed to be a consult turned into a pre-admit appt. This doctor is an answered prayer. He's wasting no time fixing my baby.

His hearing loss should resolve with the implant of tubes.

I'm still trying to gather my strength and fully recover. It's been a fun couple of months...

I'll try to hop back in the saddle and get a post up a day. No promises though.

The Adventure Ended? When?

I had a conversation with a lady the other day. It blew my mind - and went something like this:

Lady: You look too young to have two kids.

Me: I'm pretty young but, I like it this way. Obviously not too young to have kids - as I HAVE them.

Lady: That's sad. You still had so many years of adventures ahead of you. Don't you feel sad about all the things in life you're missing?

Me: Uhm, I don't really think I'm missing much. I had a ton of adventures before kids, and I'm still having plenty. I just have to pack diapers now.

Lady: You couldn't possibly know what an adventure is. You're too young.

Me: Well, they say ignorance is bliss...

Ok, first off - Hubband and I started having kids much sooner than we anticipated. But, no big deal. We're here and we wouldn't turn back the clock if we could.

This lady was 37. Her kid was 3. She is pregnant again.

I see nothing wrong with this, except she tells me she's tired and can't keep up with one and is worried about the chaos 2 will bring.

When I am 37 - B-rox will be 17, Kenny 15.

I feel tired a lot, but I know that I have more energy now and can bounce back more quickly than I will be able to at 37. Fact of life: getting old is hard on the body.

My early forties will see an empty nest, and more money to have more childless adventures with.

However, it did get me thinking. I had a lot of pre-baby good times. I've also had many post-baby good times.

So, I compiled a list. (Of a few things I consider "adventures")

Pre-baby Adventures:

*Spent a month backpacking. Seeing only the 6 people in my group for that entire month.

*Ate lobster for Thanksgiving dinner. On the beach. In Mexico.

*Rafted several rivers. (And not on commercial tours)

*Been rock climbing - on real rocks.

*Hiked the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, and Zion Canyon

*Spent a birthday in Las Vegas.

*Visited 29 of the 50 United States. And have the keychains to prove it.

*Summited four peaks.

*Vacationed on a houseboat.

Post-baby Adventures:

*Took my first trip to Orlando, Florida. To see Disney world. My first Disney park trip EVER.

*Saw Niagra falls and rode the Maid of the Mist.

*Ran my first half-marathon

*Learned to see everyday through new eyes. Christmas, Easter, and other holidays and events haven't seemed this bright since I was a kid.

*Moved three thousand miles away from my mommy.

*Taught my kids to puddle stomp. Don't think that's an adventure? Try ever going near a puddle again and staying dry.

*Bought a house, chose my own paint colors, decorated and made it a home.

Adventures yet to be completed: But still have time for because I'm *young*.

*See Ireland, Greece, New Zealand, Antarctica, Africa and Alaska. Just to name a few...

*Take the boys backpacking.

*Build a house with a tower, and at the top of the tower is a library. With a ladder like the one in "Beauty and the Beast".

*See the christening of a ship

*Take a bike trip through Napa Valley Vineyards. (Hint Mark: Ten year anniversary)

*Get my nursing degree.

*Do a medical mission somewhere. Anywhere will do - as long as I'm serving others.

*Compete in a triathalon

*Spend a week in New York City seeing Broadway, ballets and SHOPPING!

The thing is - I never felt like my life ended. It changed. Massively changed. But it's never felt over. I don't know how you can look at your kids and think "Well, gee Willis. I guess this is it".

I get less sleep, and spontaneity usually means springing for Red Robin instead of McDonalds, but that's part of the adventure right?

I love my kids and the best adventure of all is waking up to their adorable faces every morning. Whether I appreciate the time they choose to do so, or not.