When You're Sitting on Your Arse ALL Day, At Least Exercise Your Brain.

{Updated to add:  DO NOT READ "The Birthing House".  It was awful.  There was a sentence in there, that completely boggled my  mind; "I could smell the ozone in the air".  WTF?  Anyway, it was a horrendous read.  After I had it finished, I read the reviews on goodreads.  I should have done that first...
DON'T READ THIS BOOK!}


Alright.  So, I was sick.
Oldest has been sick.
I'm nursing.
All of this has caused a serious stagnation in the exercise department.  I feel fat, blobby, squishy, and most of all unhealthy and unhappy.  (And before a single person says ANYTHING let me say; I may be a small, petite person and currently a size most women would kill to be at {though, in my opinion, wanting to be anything but healthy is silly.  If you're healthy and happy - you're gorgeous} but I'm not happy because I know I'm not currently fit, I'm still carrying 10-15 lbs of extra weight {not sure, don't own a scale} and I'm not good at stagnant.  I feel mentally, and physically better when I'm working out at least four days a week.  So please, don't tell me I'm fine because "I'm so tiny".  I'm not healthy, and that's not good.  Regardless of size.)


So, I've been reading.  If I'm going to be stuck at home, on the couch - at least my brain is getting a workout.  In the last week here's a run-down of what I've read:

1.

I really, really enjoyed this book.
I couldn't put it down.  I had a hard time reading about the animal abuse
and some of the events towards the end.
The movie won't even do it justice.  It can't. 

2.

Insert "bird flu" or "H1N1" for "Zombie virus" and this book will freak you out.
I found out after I read it that Max Brooks is Mel Brooks' son.
I was pretty freaked out by one man's ability to write a book like this, until I found that out.
His dad was a comedic genius.
There is a fine line between genius and insanity.
Apparently, it's genetic. 

3.

The last three of these books will never amount to the first three in the series.
But, it was enjoyable and frivolous.  Just what I needed after World War Z.  

4.

Well, lets see.
This book was a good read.
I'm impressed that he did this at 19, and I hope to read more of his work.
I think J. Falwell was a complete nut, though I applaud Roose's attempt to make him a little more appealing.
His depiction of life at Liberty University is pretty much what I imagined it would be,
and I probably wouldn't have tried to be as unbiased going into it as he did. 

5.

This book was weird and not what I was expecting based on the description.
  I did not enjoy it.
But I didn't hate it.
I don't think I recommend.  Unless you like weird. 

 6.

I'm only five pages into this.
I can't tell if you if it's good or not. 

Also in my library bag are:

Also author of "Bonk: The curious coupling of science and sex".
Which I loved. 

I'll let you know how they are.

The Velveteen Bunny Cow.

A few years ago B-rox was given an Easter "stuffie".

It happened to be one of the freakiest things I've ever seen.

In true Braxton form, it quickly became his favorite.

Bunny Cow, is still the preferred sleep partner of my oldest.


Lately, he's been having some issues with his tonsils.  The strep we thought was strep - wasn't and his tonsils have been swollen for five weeks (or is it six?) now.  (After a week on prednisone, they went down.  As soon as the prednisone stopped.  They swelled again.)  
This is causing other issues with his health, and Bunny Cow has become even more prominent in his life.

"That night, and for many nights after, the Velveteen Rabbit slept in the Boy's bed. At first he found it uncomfortable, for the Boy hugged him very tight, and sometimes he rolled over on him, and sometimes he pushed him so far under the pillow that the Rabbit could scarcely breathe. And he missed, too, those long moonlight hours in the nursery, when all the house was silent, and his talks with the Skin Horse. But very soon he grew to like it, for the Boy used to talk to him, and made nice tunnels for him under the bedclothes that he said were like the burrow the real rabbits lived in. And they had splendid games together, in whispers, when Nana had gone away to her supper and left the night-light burning on the mantelpiece. And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy's hands clasped close round him all night long."

"And then, one day, the Boy was ill.

His face grew very flushed, and he talked in his sleep, and his little body was so hot that it burned the Rabbit when he held him lose.

Strange people came and went in the nursery, and a light burned all night and through it all the little Velveteen Rabbit lay there, hidden from sight under the bedclothes, and he never stirred, for he was afraid that if they found

him some one might take him away, and he knew that the Boy needed him".

I just pray he doesn't really become "real".

I mean, can you imagine one of these frolicking around your woods?

Cue the Cee Lo.

A picture that accurately describes how he feels about tummy time.

Babies Don't Keep.

Babies Don't Keep
By Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

 Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

 Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo 

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

This is MUCH Harder Than it Looks.

Trying to get a picture of my children, where they are all smiling AND looking at the camera, so far - has proven impossible.

Close... but what is Kenny doing?
Also a favorite. 

Nope.

aaand NO.

Funny - but not quite.

Everybody changed where they were looking.
It still isn't at me.

Nizope.

Probably my favorite.  

Yes.  I am that mother who dresses her kids in the same shirt for pictures.  Thank goodness it's a cute shirt, right? 
It's a good thing they're cute...

"I'm a Real Home Owner Now!"

So said Hubband after a trip to Home Depot.

Men and their caulk guns...

Learning to Pee by Myself.

So, pretty much anybody who is a mom knows what it's like to find peeing by yourself the *magical* part of the day.

With your first - you strap them into something and go forth with the peeing.

Buuuut, once you have two - presumably, your first is no longer a blob.  It does not sit there.  It does not get "strapped in" to anything.  If it does, it had better be an 18-point harness.  Because those suckers can escape ANYTHING.
So, generally you just drag them in with you, let them watch, and tell yourself "I'm teaching them how to use the potty by example."  (If you are a mom, and you have boys - you are completely delusional.  And will end up having conversations like this one.)

I'm on my third kid.  (Despite what the blog captions, and header say.)

I strap in the blob.  I put on cartoons for the non-blobs.  And usually get a speed workout in trying to get in and out of the bathroom before one of three things happen:

1. Someone knocks on the door asking for food.
2. Someone starts crying because they were kicked, hit, sat on, or are hungry
3. The baby's eyes become veeeerrrry fascinating.

It turns out there's a learning curve to this whole peeing thing.  Much like a toddler being potty-trained.  I realized this while I was cleaning the kitchen - with the baby strapped into the Ergo.  See, the Ergo is fantastic.  Seriously.  But, the way it sits on my relatively short torso, kinda puts pressure on my bladder.
The problem was, the baby was sleeping. Taking him out of the Ergo so I could use the facilities would wake him up.  Breaking the covenant of "Thou shalt NEVER wake a sleeping baby.  Thou shall be smoten if thou does." Or - something like that.  
So, I sat there trying to figure out how to pee, with a baby strapped to my chest.  I couldn't figure it out.
So, I kept cleaning the kitchen.  Do you know how much the water gets turned on while scrubbing a kitchen?  I do, NOW... Waiting for him to wake up.

Then, Hubband came home - and I passed that baby off like he was a hot-potato, barely looking back to see if he had been caught.
Got in, took a deep breath and prepared to enjoy my *magical* part of the day.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

It was Hubband.  Letting me know he's hungry - and wants to know what's for dinner. 


Then again, maybe there's no learning curve.  You just need sound-proof doors.  

St. Patricks Day.

Why this warrants a blog post... I don't know.  But it's getting one. 

Working.
And holding his balls.
Just like a man... 

Things I know about soccer:
1. Little kid cleats are a-freaking-dorable
2. Pele was 5'5" tall
3. Beckham just knocked his wife up again
4. Vevuselas are annoying. To the extreme.

A trip down the slide.
Baby H felt it was a little underwhelming...

Looking at alligators in the turtle pond...
no, there weren't really alligators. 

A park with multiple slides
A large field to run in
A merry go-round
Several other kids his age
And this kid chooses to play with a stick. 

The other thing I know about soccer:
This kid looks like he was born for it. 

Cutest, and most fitting St. Patty's day shirt
EVER! 

Let the Parade of Colors Continue!

Holdeezy became 3 months this week.

So, everybody applaud my ability to get the pictures up within a seven day timeframe!!!!!!!

Orrrr... look at his Sir Chunky-leg Cutey-pieness!

At three months he's nearly sitting up.

He's still one of the easiest babies I've ever met.

Loves his brothers.

Loves his daddy.

Loves his mommy mostest.  (And, she's totally soaking it up while it lasts... 2 years old and the daddy love comes way too fast.)

Loves his grape purple diaper - because it is a manly color.  

And sucks his thumb.  We failed on the pacifier attempts.  He's a thumb sucker.  Fun... 

[Quick update/note: I am working on updating the header/blog in general.  No, this isn't like full-time employment.  You don't have to put in 6 months before you get benefits.  You just have to start sleeping through the night...]

I Was Going to Blog...

But, yesterday I took a nap.

I was going to blog, but this morning I'm fighting with TriCare - again.

I was going to blog, but I don't have many happy, funny things to say.  Therefore, am not in the mood to fill the interwebz with my issues.   (Some other day...)

I was going to blog, but I decided to play legos and build robots instead.

I was going to blog, but after Legos I wanted to finish my book series.

No, not the most intellectual of books, but they have been entertaining. 

I was going to blog.  But then the baby woke up.  Looking adorable.

Always trying to propel himself forward.
At 3 mos, he's almost sitting.
Oi, vey.

He is damn cute.
And I'm not biased, or anything...

So, that's why I was going to blog.  But didn't.