Uhm...

I was going to post pictures of our Halloween.

But, Google is trying to kill me.

By kill me, I mean they won't let me upload pictures.  "Server Rejected".

So, I'll try again later.

Bare with me grandparents....

Until then, Happy Halloween.

You Thought I Was Making This Up, Didn't You?

Now that my cheeks are no longer on fire, and I've managed to show my face at school again with no jeering or pointing or laughing, I can show you the horrific evidence.

As hubband put it:
"It's like the material just stopped wanting to be together"

Which happens to be a really nice way of saying:
"That material got really tired of being wrapped around your butt."  

The Happenings and Other Adorable Stuff.

**Today I split my pants in front of B-rox's entire school.  They did not rip at a seam, they ripped in the middle of the pant leg.
And, because my life is awesome they did it high enough that every person behind me, or beside me got a great view of my pink lace, zebra print boy shorts.  


I cried all the way home.


**The other day, the boys entertained themselves.

They are all flipped on their back, because as B-rox explained
"You don't sleep on your feet, mom"

By making all of their monster trucks take naps.  On the stairs.  That's not dangerous at all! 

**I'm in that awesome phase of pregnancy where I'm hot.  All. The. Time.  
With the last two, I was thankful that cooler temperatures were setting in about the time I hit this phase.
Yesterday it was 77 degrees here.  Not awesome.
The other night, it cooled down to 55 degrees.  Being the loving family that they are, the three boys let me keep the windows open all night to refrigerate cool the house down.   They're awesome.  Because when they wake up, it means I get pictures like this:

Say it with me now:
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  

**I got bored the other morning while B-rox was filling his brain with more smart.  

This confirms, that it's definitely time for a haircut. 




** This kid is now reading.  Mostly small words.  And cupcake, of course. But, it's reading.  And I don't even know where the time went.

If only you could hear the noise accompanying this
picture...

He's taken a liking to comic books.  The problem is, I don't know how to read them as a story.  So for now, he's stuck with making up his own storylines to  "Calvin and Hobbes" and "Get Fuzzy".

Rolling with a Theme.

Because I'm fairly certain my two tangible children make Mark and I look like idiots, my guess is the fetus will be the same when he becomes tangible as well.

Being outsmarted by someone 1/5 your age is rough.

So, perusing cafepress.com  (which, may be the best t-shirt/magnet/mug site EVER) I came upon this:

I may have to get this.  

99 Things, and the Ganja ain't one.

Read this on a blog, of a chick who's pretty cool, who happens to live where I'd like to be living.  

Instructions: The post is a list of 99 things you could have done, and you are supposed to bold the ones that you yourself have done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disney World
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping  (Oh Gawd, my mom reads this...)
27. Run a Marathon  (Can I bolden half of this?????)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice  (Do the gondolas in the Venetian count????)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial 
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book  (I'm counting this, because a piece of my work has been published in TWO books)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I have led a very random life... 

How I know I am Screwed.

This afternoon, B-rox and I did some work on the magna-doodle.  He practiced reading and writing skills.

Pretty common afternoon activity for us.

Then Kenny woke up and it was snack time.

Also pretty common for us.

When trying to decide what to feed them for snack, that's healthy, nutritious, and won't overfill them for dinner B-rox and I engaged in this conversation:

B: Mom, I'm going to spell what I want for snack.  Then will you get it for me?
Me:  If you spell it right.
B: Are you sure?
Me: Sure.  No problem.  [My thinking was he definitely cannot spell anything I don't want to give him]
*Two minutes later*

 B: Here mom.  This is what I want:

Yes.  That says "cupcake". 

Pretty much all I can say is [facepalm] "What flavor do you want dear?".

A Tuesday Morning Dollop

Of Mommy McD's brain.

It's nothing like a "Dollop of Daisy".

*Last week, "Teen Mom" ended for the season.  I am SO sad.  I would have loved to watch how Amber's investigation into her gross neglect and abuse goes.  Hopefully, it turns out well for Leah.
Also, really - who names their kid Leah Leann??????

*But, to ease the sadness, I've become addicted to "Sister Wives".
There are not enough words to describe my relationship with this show.  I can't stop watching - yet I'm horrified the whole time I do.  (And yes, this is with the acknowledgement that my genealogy has it's polygamy roots.)  
Kody annoys the crap out of me. Which is impressive given the stage of pregnancy I'm in...  Too far?  Hmmm...
Seriously, from a psych standpoint, he's grossly immature and is using multiple wives to be his mommies.  Well, that's the simplified version anyway.
As for the wives... Serious self-esteem issues...
*Shudder - ew*


*At Braxton's school today I over heard this conversation:
Dad to girl dressed in t-shirt and skirt:  Honey, it's too cold outside to play today.  Tell Mrs. ^^^ that you're to stay inside today. 
Girl Dressed in t-shirt and skirt: Ok Daddy. 
Doesn't seem like a weird conversation?  Let me fill you in on a few facts:
1. It was currently 60 degrees.
2. Projected temps for the day - 75 degrees
3. This was not a preschooler.  This was one of the 6th graders.
4. My humble opinion is: If your 11 year old can't dress herself appropriately, let her suffer.  She'll learn.
- Oh, and 60 degrees is NOT cold.  Brisk, a bit nippy, maybe even a tad chilly.  NOT COLD!


*At Starbucks today, I practically had to hold a gun to the barista's head in order to get her to make me a FULL CAFF mocha.
Me: Grande Mocha please
B: Decaf?
Me: No, I'm out of coffee at home and I may not survive the day if you make it decaf.
B: Are you sure  (Gestures to belly)
Me:  Yes.  Please, Grande Mocha.  I didn't ask you to put cocaine in it...
B: Ok.... if you're sure....

GET ME MY COFFEE WOMAN!!!!!

*My hand swelled again the other day.  Mark was awake to see it, and he may or may not be concerned.  The man is like stone.  Never gives.  Except that one time, where I gave him his first son....

*I engaged in a particularly loopy conversation on fb last night with bestest and family. I learned a few things:
Discussing accessories for colostomy bags isn't really funny.
But, that there are accessories for colostomy bags.
(I would like to note that I hope to never have one, and now feel like I should donate a dollar to Colon Cancer research...)
Adding raspberries to my zucchini bread sounds like a bueno idea to other people, not just me.
The Ging family is pretty funny.  I love them.  Lots.   Enough to put them at the top of my "visit list" when I'm back in OR next summer.  (right behind my own familia, that is)

*Kenny sings when he is "dropping the browns off at the superbowl".  Loudly.
Or he meows.  Which, when coming out of his mouth is pronounced "me-wow".  It cracks me up every time.
The mirth stops as soon as I hear "Mommy, I'm done - come and wipe my booooooooteeeeeeeee". 


*B-rox went to the dentist last week.
This was more horrifying for me than when he was admitted to the hospital for sepsis.
The dentist lacks some pretty serious parental bedside manner (Though, he's AMAZING with kids) and pretty much told me I'd failed my son.
He has to have two kiddie root canals, and a few fillings.
Apparently, all because I nursed him at night and didn't brush his teeth afterward.
I would just like to note - that I would like to meet the person who would brush their three month-old's teeth at 2am.
And then I would like to run them over with my car.  


*The fetus is head-up breech.  There's time for that to change, so I'm not concerned, but am pretty sure I prefer being kicked in the ribs over being head-butted.  There is not enough room in my ribcage for my heart, lungs and a head.
I wake up and night pretty sure I've just suffocated.  Then realize I'm awake, and can't decide if I'm more thankful to not be suffocated or pissed that I'm awake.  


*I found a Santa Fe style cafe that serves real sopapillas.
The cafe makes you order in batches of four.
Let's just say that the waiter was... shocked... at how many I ordered.  
Instead of dipping them in honey, like I normally would, I dipped them in my jalepeno cheese soup.
I may have replaced my cheesburger craving...


*Now that my Non-decaf coffee is pumping through my system, I'm going to go make raspberry zucchini bread.

Please have a safe and happy Tuesday!

Some Perspective For Myself.

I've been REALLY uncomfortable lately.
Running has been really good to me, but it's had a few side effects this pregnancy that have caused a few moments of pain.
By a few, I mean, sometimes I cry.
But crying is better than not running.  For my brain and for my weight gain tally, anyway.

Last month, insomnia - my ever present friend, reared her ugly head.
I put a female pronoun to insomnia because I equate it with that really annoying girl in the cabin at summer camp that won't STFU. 
Which was sometimes me, probably, but that's beside the point.  Insomnia is very much female in nature.


So, during the week - I never actually hear my alarm go off.  Because I wake up about 15 minutes before it is scheduled to go off.  I promise, encounter this problem - and fifteen minutes will never look small again.  
So, this morning I headed to the gym a little early.

And turned on CNN, instead of VH1 or TNT.

Then I cried.

Because Jose Ojeda (sp?) was emerging from that missile-like capsule and it was amazing.
Hormones may have played a small role.... 
Hugging his step-daughter/niece.  (CNN was very confused on the particulars)
Very much alive.

So, I channel surfed a bit - not wanting to get nicknamed "crying girl" by my gym compadres.

And I thought.  [Don't worry.  Nobody was harmed in the making of this thought.]


"Waiting for Christmas morning is really effing hard.  Like 'Ants in my pants made me do the boogey dance' kind of hard.
But, imagine what it must feel like for that guy who is going to get hauled up last?  
That shit would blow your mind, Self. 
You can handle being pregnant for 8 more weeks.  
That guy was stuck in a mine for that long, in a room the size of your bathroom - with forty other dudes. 
That shit would also blow your mind.  (internal laugh at my own joke...)
Smile today."


And, I have.

I do love him. I think he loves me...

This morning, Mark and I went for a run together.

This was of course, a "my wife is 7.5 months pregnant, so I'm going to 'jog' with her until she has a contraction she has to walk through" type of run.

The fetus doesn't like the jiggling.

Anyway, during getting ready post-run, Mark commented on how now that he's back in a running routine, he's dropped a few pounds.

I made a snarky remark like "Yes, I noticed.  They were all transplanted to my ass". 


His response?
Definitely not: 'Oh, you look gorgeous', or 'whatever, you're crazy'.

It was

"Don't worry honey, it's birthing strength.  This birth is going to go really well by the looks of it."

Honesty is the best policy... sometimes?

Pumpkin Patching. 2010 style.

As it has been since, oh, March - it was hot as balls here in the NOVA area.  Never in my life have I wanted to take off my clothes at a pumpkin patch.  Generally I'm thinking to myself, "Me, you're an idiot for not wearing warmer clothing". 


But we had a pretty good time, none the less.

The hayride.
Which is always awesome.
And Braxton knows it.

The "big giant" slide.
He would have done it all day...

I have no idea why I love this picture so much.
But I do.
So if you're reading this, You have to look at it
too.

The bravest he got on any of the slides.
Notice that one hand is still clutching daddy.
Very Firmly...

His hair is the center of my attention.
Because it's awesome.

I realize I never take pictures of my kids with the pumpkins...
So this year, I'll try to remedy that after we decorate them.  If I don't, know that we got pumpkins.
Happy Fall, Y'all!

First off...

Happy Birthday to the bestest.  Your present will be in the mail shortly.
Wish we were there to celebrate with  you.

On to my story of the day.

For some time (I suspected, due to my mattress), I've had an achy shoulder.  It doesn't hurt when I run - and that's about the only time it isn't aching.

I don't remember any specific moment when it started, or remember any specific moment that could have caused it.

It's just been an ache.  I figured I'd throw it in the "my body hates me because I got knocked up again" category, and deal with it if things got worse.

Last night, they got worse.

The ache started becoming a sharp pain.  I figured the vacuuming, sweeping and bathroom scrubbing (nope, didn't do the toilets), had over-tired it.  So I went to bed.  After an hour of tossing and turning - I couldn't take the pain.

Tylenol is crap, people.  I don't even know how they get away with marketing themselves.  They should start calling themselves "Placebo"  or "Haha - Suck it Pregnant Lady - I'm all You've Got!".

Anyway, about fifteen minutes after I went downstairs my arm went numb.
My hand swelled.  REALLY swelled.  If I hadn't felt like my hand were pregnant too, I would have taken a picture.  The lotion I kept spreading on it to keep my skin from stinging - didn't help.

I had set a time limit.  If at two am, this hasn't gone away - Mark is going to have to drive me to the hospital.  
It hurt.  A Lot.

At 1:30am - my hand started un-swelling.  Is un-swelling a word?  I got feeling back in my arm.
My shoulder only aches now.

This is a weird occurrence, right?
Is there a doctor out there that can explain this?
I'd prefer it not happen again...

Sunday Morning Conversations.

Beware - one of these is slightly racial...  But it did come from a four year old.  Keep that in mind.


Hubband to boys:  "Lets go clean the playroom so I can vacuum down there."
vacuums...


Hubband to me:  "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Upstairs - to save the world"

Hubband:  "Oh, I thought you were going to say you were going to go scrub the toilets."

Me: "Yeah right, that's your job until this kid pops out."

Hubband:  "Remember how you said bathroom cleaning was your least hated chore?"

Me:  "Remember how when I was pregnant with Kenny you promised to get a vasectomy?"

Hubband:  *hangs head*

~

B-rox and Hubband are in the Bathroom changing band-aids on skinned knees.

B-rox:  "Dad, did you know there is a new kid in my class named Gabe?"

Hubband:  "Nope.  Have you made friends with him?"

B:  "Yeah.  He's three, so I have to be a role model for him"

H:  "That's right.  Way to be a nice big kid."

B: "Dad, did you know that all of Gabe's skin is the same color of my scab?"


H: "Uhhh... No."


B:  "Is Gabe a scab?"


H:  *Facepalm*


Note:  Our philosophy in teaching our kids about diversity in the world is to answer all questions openly and honestly.  Mark and I believe all are created equal, and strive to teach our children the same. 

Fairies...

A few weeks ago, I became a fairy godmother.

I am aware that my real title is just "god mother", but seriously - I'm so much more rockin' than that.  Which means I get the full title of Fairy God Mother!  


I went up and took some pictures of my Fairy God Daughter, Hannah.
Which, is a bitchin' name - due to its' palindromeness. 

Apparently I really like baby feet...

.24 seconds before she started freaking out on this bear.
Don't tell Gramma.

Thinking "how can I eff up this shot for her?"

My favorite.  I'm framing it.
And maybe adding fairy wings on her back...

Now, does anyone know where I can get a plush fairy wand?
Because she's a little too young for a real one...