You Thought I Was Making This Up, Didn't You?

Now that my cheeks are no longer on fire, and I've managed to show my face at school again with no jeering or pointing or laughing, I can show you the horrific evidence.

As hubband put it:
"It's like the material just stopped wanting to be together"

Which happens to be a really nice way of saying:
"That material got really tired of being wrapped around your butt."