Monday, March 21, 2011

Learning to Pee by Myself.

So, pretty much anybody who is a mom knows what it's like to find peeing by yourself the *magical* part of the day.

With your first - you strap them into something and go forth with the peeing.

Buuuut, once you have two - presumably, your first is no longer a blob.  It does not sit there.  It does not get "strapped in" to anything.  If it does, it had better be an 18-point harness.  Because those suckers can escape ANYTHING.
So, generally you just drag them in with you, let them watch, and tell yourself "I'm teaching them how to use the potty by example."  (If you are a mom, and you have boys - you are completely delusional.  And will end up having conversations like this one.)

I'm on my third kid.  (Despite what the blog captions, and header say.)

I strap in the blob.  I put on cartoons for the non-blobs.  And usually get a speed workout in trying to get in and out of the bathroom before one of three things happen:

1. Someone knocks on the door asking for food.
2. Someone starts crying because they were kicked, hit, sat on, or are hungry
3. The baby's eyes become veeeerrrry fascinating.

It turns out there's a learning curve to this whole peeing thing.  Much like a toddler being potty-trained.  I realized this while I was cleaning the kitchen - with the baby strapped into the Ergo.  See, the Ergo is fantastic.  Seriously.  But, the way it sits on my relatively short torso, kinda puts pressure on my bladder.
The problem was, the baby was sleeping. Taking him out of the Ergo so I could use the facilities would wake him up.  Breaking the covenant of "Thou shalt NEVER wake a sleeping baby.  Thou shall be smoten if thou does." Or - something like that.  
So, I sat there trying to figure out how to pee, with a baby strapped to my chest.  I couldn't figure it out.
So, I kept cleaning the kitchen.  Do you know how much the water gets turned on while scrubbing a kitchen?  I do, NOW... Waiting for him to wake up.

Then, Hubband came home - and I passed that baby off like he was a hot-potato, barely looking back to see if he had been caught.
Got in, took a deep breath and prepared to enjoy my *magical* part of the day.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

It was Hubband.  Letting me know he's hungry - and wants to know what's for dinner. 


Then again, maybe there's no learning curve.  You just need sound-proof doors.  

1 reviews:

Summer said...

I've just given up on either peeing or bathing uninterrupted. AND yes, my husband is just as bad as the kids. It never even dawns on me to interrupt someone's bathroom time. Maybe it's a boy thing.