Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Brain is NOT Smarter Than a Five Year Old's.

Do you remember being five?  I do.  Well, some parts at least.  I remember going on my kindergarten trout fishing field trip expecting to come back with a pet fish.
(In case you are wondering, I did not come home with a pet trout.) 
I remember my little sister coming home from the hospital.
(In case you were wondering, I did not like her.) 
I remember learning to make Macaroni 'n' Cheese.
I remember my mother telling me that we were out of pancake mix.
(No.  We were not. She *apparently* didn't feel like making them again for the 1,685th day in a row.) 
I remember random moments that I don't remember the context of, or even why I remember them.

What I don't remember?

My brain expanding as fast as my kids' brains seem to.

I spend the whole drive to school explaining different world, science/biology, language concepts to the B-rox. All conversations are sparked by him.  Kenny, while listening, will usually come up with a very valid question - proving that he's learning "stuff" too.

A few of the magical conversations we've had:

(This one was actually between the two brothers.  I had no input.  Well, except laughter.) 
Kenny: DAMN!
B-rox: What does Damn mean?
Kenny: Damn is when something is broken, or someone gets hurt, or the car doesn't work. You just say damn and that's what it means.
B-rox: Oh.  That's a good word.
Kenny: Yeah.
Yes, I understand this means I've used that word too many times.  Yes, I understand I should have stepped in and told them to stop saying that word.  It is hard to do that when you're laughing as hard as I was. 

On the way into the school:
B-rox: Mr. G is the boss of the school.
Me: Yes, he is.
B-rox: Mr. G is the boss of this school because he's a man and "womans" can't be bosses of schools.
Me [looking for nearby brick wall to smash head against]: No, Mr. G is the boss of this school because he owns it.  If I owned the school, I would be boss of it.  Even though I'm a girl.
B-rox: But, you're just a mom.  You don't know how to own a school.
Me:  Oh jeez....

Driving through our neighborhood after school:
B-rox: Mom, why does that guy have a white and red stick?
Me: Because he's blind
B-rox: What is blind?
{We spend 45 minutes reviewing the five senses and how they help us "figure out our world"}
Me: So, your five senses help you figure out your world, right?
B: Yes.
Me: So, if you were blind and couldn't see your food - what would you do to figure out your food?
B: Put on glasses.
Duh, mom. 

[In Braxton's school, they learn Spanish one day a week. Because we're fancy like that...]
Door to door salesman: Hello, I'm here to sell.... (cleaners? I don't remember.)
B-rox: Hola is Hello in Spanish.
D2D: Yes, it is - very good!  Did your mommy teach you that?
B: No, I'm half Spanish and half  "anglish".  I just know it already.
Me: [facepalm]

So, maybe these weren't the most text book examples of their ever expanding brains.  They were the most hilarious, the most remember-able (totally a word), and in my opinion, the best way to show how giant their brains are.

If you don't believe me, just ask B-rox's teacher.  The incumbent 1st graders are testing this week, and she informed me Braxton could test with them and have no issues.
Like I didn't already know that... 

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