Monday, March 8, 2010

Can I be the Skinny, Non-stinky, one? Please?

Because Neurotic is ok in my book.

"This girl's gone lost her dome." That is what you are all saying right now. So, before you do something rash - like call Bellvue to check for openings - here's what I'm talking about:

I'm sure you've all seen the movie. It's one I can't wait to show the boys. Because I LOVE Disney movies, and this one is a reigning fave.

On to the story - and why I prefer neurotic, over large and stinky. Showers are good. 'Nuff said on that one. The only time I've been large, I've been pregnant. Not a place I really want to go again. Even though hubband has asked ever so politely....

Which, leaves neurotic. I get it from my mother.

Now for the story portion:

I grew up in a rural area. Animals galore. I've hit a bat, many squirrels, a raccoon, and was passenger when a dog was hit.

I have never. Ever. Ever Ever Ever Ever. Hit. A. Bird.

I pretty much thought it was impossible. Though, I'll admit, I've tried.

Today I hit four. FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you all remember the scene where Timon and Pumbaa are first introduced? They're "buzzard bowling". They're trying to run into birds, gathered around a carcass. The novelty of it, has made it endure as a favorite scene of mine for the last 13 years.

After I dropped Braxton off, I headed home. Halfway there, I notice a rather large gathering of seagulls in my lane. Quick little honk, and most of them scatter. Two tried to take off late - and met my grill. Two, stupid gluttons, didn't even try to fly and met my ridiculously expensive pieces of rubber.

Grossed out? For sure. Proud of myself? Sadly, yes. Even Captain Sully only hit one! I didn't even have to emergency land in a river and I hit four of them!!!

Ok, Yes, I was in a car. He was in a plane. And yes, I killed four living things today, and am proud of it. And that makes me horrible. Even with this knowledge, I will sleep like a baby tonight. You can judge me. I'm ok with it. Had I hit a dog, or a cat, or another bat - I would have been very sad. But I hit seagulls. I don't think the world is suffering from want of seagulls...


At least I didn't hit four ladders. ;)

1 reviews:

Mrs. Wookie said...

Hahahahahahahahahaaha, touche!

Good laugh.